1 day left!

Well, as we all know tomorrow is going to be the last day of 2013. Guess what i'm kinda miss the old days of mine on 2013. Too much memories on this year such as bitter sweet moment when i'm taking my STPM examination for the last time and more. It's just too hard to let go and move on to the next chapter. Frankly, i really glad that i'm not at high school anymore. I can't wait to futher my study to Open University Malaysia and i still confius which course that i suppose to take or study. My first option is an early childhood education but my brother asked me to take Human Resource Management course. Both of this courses have a similiarity which is their subject are almost the same. I was born to hate mathematics subject and until now i still hate it because i can't conquer it. Whatever it is, i need to always be prepared and ready to face a new challenge. Maybe i looked weak but with God blessing's and His love i might looked stronger than you. My tiny little heart still had a scar and i hope that it will cure by itself by meeting someone new. Wish you all have a blessing 2014! Happy new year 2014!!

The boy who named F*****~

He was my crush since i was 11 years old and until now i still having a crush on him. For me, he was my dream and perfect guy. I like all about him and he was the apple of my eye. His family already known me for a long time because we went to the same church. I did like all of his family member especially his sister. I still wondering why he was too precious to me. Seems like he was my destiny. No matter how much i did loved someone on my past, he will still be in my haert. I did try to let go of him but he kept appeared my dream. He was studying at Kota Kinabalu and each time if he was planning for going back to Sandakan he will appear in my dream. Seem like he was told me that he was going back to Sandakan. To be Continued

Crush :)

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...." i don't realise that i also can be strong enough without you..."

Well.. it's been a month now and i'm still trying so hard to forget about him.  Thank God for His love and grace that fullfil my empty heart and soul. I just don't want to talk much now. I'm speechless. Sorry...

Hoobastank - the reason

The Scientist by Coldplay.

Hello August :)

Time goes swiftly on it's way. All i can do is facing all the problems without postpone it and i wish i could stop or control it. Honestly, i still a brokenhearted girl but i guess i was too tough and trying so hard to forget him even though i know it's impossible. Ain't no person would love me as much as he do but he's love starting to decrease day by day. He started to look outside of me not the inside of me. I mean my physical. I know it's not easy for him having a plus size girlfriend and it ain't easy for me too because i'm bigger than my boyfriend. People always make fun of us whenever we were going for a walk. I was hurting a lot. It hurts like hell. His friend always teasing me by saying that i am fat and not suitable for their friend. After 4 years, i decided to leave him and he did accept it at the first place. Recently, he did asked me if i wanna be his girlfriend once more but all i can do was trying to ignore and our conversation ended with fight. I really more prefer that we were fought by ending our conversation because i quite worried that i will be back again with him. Being his girlfriend is the best feeling ever. I love him so much than he know. Loving a person doesn't mean that we are going to own them but loving a person is about how your appreciate them, remember them, love who the way they are, take care of them even though there's a distance that might limited your actions. I, seriously said that forgetting you was the hardest thing i could have done. Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to apart and nobody's tell it would be this hard.

So...

This is my wishlist for my future boyfriend :

1. Accept me who i am

2. Love me dearly (most important)

3. He must be a christian

4. Look alike Bruno Mars (I know it's impossible)

5. Like my family and respect them.

6. Wear perfume.

7. Love english language.

8. Can play at least one music instrument (guitar would be my first choice)

9. Must older than me. ( 20 years old - 22 years old )

10. Never plays DOTA ( for sure )

11. Not smoking and drink alcohol.

12. Must taller than me because i love tall guy.

13. Must be dusun okey!

14. Text me every morning and say good night to me every night.

15. Call me first!

16. Don't ever control my life! ( I swear i will curse you! Haha)

This is my ridiculous wishlist and it's all bullshit.

Single life is awesome

I can't remember which date we broke up but i guess it's already 1 week. Thank God since today i can cheer myself up. He, the ex always updating his status and mostly about me. He still hoping that we'll back again but guess what, i don't want anymore. I think 3 years more it's enough to torture me. I've been hurt a lot. While we're still dating, i always cried like shit. Jealousy will always controlling my mind. Now. i guess i can take a break for a while. I wish i can borrow one of those fairy's magic stick from magic land then i want all those memories to be erased. Haha! i know it's impossible. I think i watched too much disney's fairy tale movie. Back to track, i'm hoping that we'll never ever meet again. Boys always be boys. They always mean to their exes. Saying something that unexpected by people. Honestly, i still love and care about him but i firmly say that i never look back again. So, i want you to be happy my 'dear' ex. Don't find someone like me but find someone who's much better than me. Okay? Bye!

BRUNO-HOLIC !

I really fell in love with Bruno Mars @ Peter Gene Hernandez. Even my desktop wallpaper, handphone wallpaper,screen saver and my message and everything is all about Bruno Mars..Oh gosh! i was madly in love with him. He just too perfect. I love seeing he's singing with playing his guitar along. I love his smile and all about him. I just too obsessed about him.

I really care and i hate about it !

Well, i got this one friend from SMK xxx and i met her since last year. She was very good at the first time,friendly and i really thought that i gonna made a superb new and cool friend. But, a few month later, she started showing her true colour. From good to bad,friendly to drama queen. She likes to attract people attention so that other people can noticed her or know her. Oh my! from that moment, i realise that why i must be friend with this drama queen. I know it was normal to have a friend like her. But, for me it was unusual. Extraordinary! really! i can't lie about it. She likes to copy other people personality. I do have proof though. She was copying my best friend's personality, Suriyanti. Sue, she really likes blue stuff. I mean blue colour stuff. She was crazy about a cute cartoon that called Smurf because they are blue colour. Suddenly, that drama queen brought all the same stuff that Sue's ever had. From head to toe, i swear it is really blue in colour. Another thing, she likes to act cute in front of everybody. She will used compact powder to make her face more brighter than before. Most of my classmate dislikes her because she such a total bitch that can make everyone annoy the most. In another angle, she just a poor girl that struggling for her life. She was the older sister to her siblings. Luckily she still had her both parents and her grandma. Sometimes i felt so wrong if i hate her but her attitude makes me what to stay away from her. I just hate too much attention. I hope she will change her attitude and think wisely about her future. Don't choose boyfriend randomly. Stay away from people that will makes you to be a failure.

I just can't get away from this guy :)

Guess what..me and him sambung balik :) i was so happy..i'm hoping that we going to fight for our love till the end..love each other..understand each other feelings..but for sure i don't want any break up happen again..imma sick of it :)

It's April already!!

Honestly..i really love March :) March was my favourite month..on this April, i'm hoping that i'll became more stronger and healthier..next month would be May..and STPM just around the corner..i'm so nervous..because i didn't study yet :( btw, this April..i'm hoping that someone new will come into my life..Dear capital S..i want you to know that i'll be waiting for you no matter how long you'll realise about it..i guess i can forget about you lil bit now capital L..but not much..i know we just broke up..and i hope that you can move on...anyway..thanks for everything March !!

Already meet someone new?

I'm might not rushing to have a relationship with people....i need to know his background and behaviour..if he's really suits for then i will accept him..but if there's no one want to enter my life..it's okey though..that's mean i'm going to be sexy,free and single :D

I missed that moment :(

Everything left was only a little piece of our love

Finally..me and him break up..i think i was wrong at the first place..i almost regret my decision..but now..i realise..i already made a right decision for our past relationship..i really think this was the best decision even though it hurts too much..but i'll try to handle it..i'm not going to be a selfish person anymore..after all we've been through..seriously you're such a superb guy that i ever known..thanks for loving me so dearly since 13 July 2009..i really appreciate it..and thanks for being there for me especially when you came visited me on hospital..came to my home..accompany me went to everywhere..thanks for loving and accepted me as i am..no one ever did it for me..thanks for the cute gift that you're already bought and gave to me..i'll kept them in my closet..i'll take care of them very well..but if you want them back..i'll will give it to you back...since 13 July 2009, i spent most of my time to text with you..and that also my favourite hobby :)..but now..i need to find my new hobby..sometimes i realise that my day wouldn't complete if you not texting with me..but i guess i need to forget about it..honestly, you're the one that i was thinking about day and night..you just too permanent in my mind..3 years 8 month 1 week and 2 days was a long time for me to had an amazing relationship..that's why i never forget about you..even an inch..i know it's annoying for you to read this..but this is the truth..to me..you the one that got away..you are my favourite pain..the only person i ever love so much since now..by the way..i know you were hurting now..or maybe not..i just want to say sorry..for not being a good girlfriend..not treat you right..sometimes not being there for you..always mad to you for no reason and so many more..i realise that i was too bad for you and not suitable for you..you such a nice person..and you need someone more better than me..i know you will find not just one but a lot of people that appreciate you more..make sure you choose wisely..okey lah..that's all i want to say..just take care..don't skip your meal even if you're busy..if you sick..tell your mom ya..at night, don't forget to wear blanket if you want to sleep..make sure you eat a clean food..check it before you eat..always drive safely..don't eat too much junk food...but i want you to forget that i will always love you no matter what..even if i already meet someone new in my life..you always be my favourite..my sweetie pie..have a blessed day..GBU :) bye!
Teddy Gram Note Generator

Everyday is hard when you're not there :(

Yesterday, I already checked my result STPM Term 1..not really bad..i've got 3 principle only..pengajian am, sport science and pengajian perniagaan..my geografi subject got D..so i need to repeat it on third semester..my days becoming so lonely..i always skipped my meal..i always busy because that's the only way i can forget about him for a while..thank God my PBS already done...that's mean i don't have to worry about it anymore..half of my stress was already gone..by the way..why i can't stop thinking about him? sometimes i've late go to bed because i can't stop thinking..i was hoping that i can forget about him for a little..but frankly i did really misses him..and i refused to tell him because i don't want him feel so annoying about me...every step that i make..every second that passed..everytime that i was breathing....i was only thinking about you..your face and your name was permanently remain in my mind..

Maybe?

Since yesterday we were not contact each other..i admit that i really missed him so much..i cried a lot yesterday and thinking why i always acted like this..maybe i still can't understand him or otherwise..i used to believed that i was the one that always started a fight..but sometimes he can't realise his own mistakes..he seem ignoring me..he rarely replies my text..usually it's takes an hour to wait for his replies..i felt so sad..i understand that he's probably working or need some space or time for himself..but at least tell me..don't make me wait like a fool..i just don't like it...it really hurts so much..sometimes i was very dissapointed with myself why i can't stop disturbing his life..for him..maybe i was a burden that he needs to carry everyday..i can't stop blaming myself why i always acted selfishly..maybe stop contacting each other is the best way to keep him far from me..i did deactived my facebook account..and next maybe i'll change my phone number..i'll try the best that i can to keep away from him even though i still love him..like other people said..love requires a lot of sacrifices..i need to let him be happy even without me by his side..

Dedicated just for you :')

Teddy Gram Note Generator

Only you :)

I believed that I will never see you again
You showed up in front of me like a dream
You shake with the same smile as before

To cover up the awkwardness
I kept saying boring things
But knowing this, you just laughed at everything I said

You're the only one
Even with my eyes opened or closed
You're the only one for me
I love you, I love you, if it's not you, I just can't anymore
More than yesterday, I miss you more today

I think about many times in a day
I fall asleep while smiling like a kid
I can't even remember my life without you, I must be crazy

I thought I could never do it again, will never do it again
But the fact that I'm falling in love again
It's scary and I'm not confident about it but if it's you

(This lyric did happened to me ) 
   

please listen to this wonderful song :)                                                                                  

My Favourite date of March is 9 & 10 March =)

The reason why i like 9 & 10 March it was our birthdate..mine is 9 and him 10..i was really happy that God still gave us opportunity to celebrate our birthday..thank God because of His love and kindness..my mom can celebrate my birthday during Adult Cells..there's a lot of prayer and our family also can share the blessed that God gave us..I was really being blessed by God since i was a little till now..without His power, i might die on 2009..He saved me..also healed my illness..and now i'm free from eating any medication pills..my hemoglobin already stable..During my PMR examination i was losing my confident to get a good result..because on early 2009, i was sick..my hemoglobin dropped drastically..from 12 to 3..2 week on hospital wad and 2 times being admitted..i've been admit on the hospital for too long because i was waiting for blood transfusion..my blood type is O positive..this type of blood was really rare at my hometown, Sandakan. So the hospital decided to order the blood from blood bank at Kuala Lumpur..3 days waiting for blood transfusion..that time was really challenging..my respiratory system became so limited..i need to wear that respirator for extra oxygen..and guess what..it doesn't helped me at all..on one thursday evening..my condition became critical..my mom cried all the time..so many people was visiting that female wad..my bed number is 3..there's a lot of people died on that bed..even my best friend Tyara said that her late grandma decease on that bed..but with God interference..our church member came and start pray for me..suddenly the doctor ran into my bed and said there's extra blood from our hospital blood bank..then the situation changed from sad to happy..my mom can't stop crying because she was so greatful that God had giving me chance to live..actually i was nearly to die..because my soul already separated from my body..i did saw another soul that was calling me..and i did recognise that person..she was an old lady that died 2 days ago..that mean she decease on tuesday..she had been talking with me and my bed and her was really near..because her bed was next to my bed..but after that she was being transferred to bed 3..that's mean she was really critical and doctors can't helped her anymore..i was quite shocked..just like a moment ago i was talking to her then suddenly the nurses told me that she already decease..she was a great women and all the nurses adore her..finally..the blood transfusion had been done and i finally can move a bit..and also can went home to get a full rest..luckly i've admitted to hospital after i'm done my PMR examination and i took a long leave to get rest from hospital..it's been a month..after that, PMR examination result had been announced on christmas eve..praise the Lord i didn't fail any subject..it's all for today..i really greatful because God did love me and my family..He's my best friend, my perfect Dad and my everything..the important is He is my saviour from the beginning of my life till the end..

Another Korean Drama~

 

I really interested on this drama that called Stay with me, my love or Nae Sarang Nae Gyeotae / My Love By My Side ..i watch this on every monday till friday..6.30 pm on ONE HD channel..This drama is about a young single mother, Mi Sol. She gets embroiled in a love triangle with the father of her child, Suk Bin and her newfound love, So Ryong. Best friends since young, Mi Sol and Suk Bin find soul mates in each other as they both face much pressure from their mothers. One night, they end up spending the night together and Mi Sol becomes pregnant. Upon realizing that Mi Sol is pregnant, Suk Bin flees to America to further his studies with instructions from his mother. Despite being a student, Mi Sol decides to have the baby herself. Her mother decides to raise Mi Sol’s son as her brother. Many years later, her life takes a turn and she meets So Ryong, the perfect man in everyone’s eyes, and they start to take an interest in each another. Suk Bin returns from America, unaware that his childhood love, Mi Sol, actually gave birth to their child. A love triangle around the three unfolds. These are the main characters: Do Mi Sol and her real name is Lee So Yeon.. Lee So Ryong and his real name is Lee Jae Yoon (my favourite one)...Go Suk Bin and his real name is Ohn Joo Wan..

Goodbye February!

Seriously..i really glad that February already over..i often get sick on that month... right now i still get sick and force to absent from school..on this week..i got sick on 3 times..such a horrible..i need an MC to take my exam paper on next week..so i decide to go to the clinic today by myself..i always go by myself..it's not really far from my home..btw. i really can't wait to celebrate my 19th birthday on 9 march..i wish i can celebrate our birthday together..i mean me and him..his birthday is on 10th March..but nevermind then..he promise to meet me on school holiday on end of march..i'm hoping that we can spend time together without any interruption..

As long as you love me :)

No matter how much i made him hate me..he doesn't care at all..sometimes i can't remember how many time i asked him to break up with me..i guess it's more than 3 times..but he refused it..he always said that as long as i love him then i'll never leave you..he also said that i'm his destiny..but i'm afraid that i won't appreciate him..Frankly, my attitude was so bad lately..which was i don't know why...i keep scolded him on tiny thing..i mad at him because i love him so much bha..i just wanna show him that i really care about him..like the older said "Marah-marah sayang" but sometimes i was too much..i always hurt his feeling..maybe my mom was right..i'm so SELFISH..i can't help it's right on my gen and i can't change it..when i think on back days..i was lucky to have him in my life..he's the only exception for me.. Dear Hubby, i just want you to know that no matter how far our distance are..you're always near in my sight and heart..thank God because He gave me such an precious gift..i will learn how appreaciate him..love him as much as he love me..i will take care of him ..never leave him for no reason..and rarely mad at him..once again i'm really sorry for what i've done..i'm just a bad person and you're the better person

EditingMySpace.com - More Hello Kitty Comments

Fiefy's engagement day @ 10 February 2013

So..my friend,Nurul Hafeefy Ahmad already engaged on this evening at her house..as a friend..i'm very happy for her..congratulation my dear friend..take care..i hope you and your fiancee will last forever..get married soon..haha..okey i'm done talking..

Torn ~

So..me and him had a small fought since 2 days ago..he said that he couldn't understand what exactly i'm trying to say to him..after hearing that..my heart torn in to two..i just don't know how to say it anymore..it's hard to explain something while you are mad at someone..so i decided not to send any messages to him anymore because he doesn't understand what i'm trying to say..for me..in relationship..communication is the important element and very basics..but we failed on first stage..what should i do? let him go or just ignoring him?i just realise that he was changing so much..maybe he started get bored on our relationship..but never mind then..i never forced people to stay by my side if they stared get bored on my attitude..honestly, i still love him so much more..but i'm willing to let him go if that is the best decision to make..Dear Lerence Gilary..i'm willing to let you go..find someone better than me..don't ever find someone like me..it's just will make you remember me again..i hope when we are over..you will completely forget about me...don't ever back to me even though i still love you..

My New Hair~

hehe..almost forgot to share it..actually i'm really satisfied my new hair..so easy to handle it..but a lil hard to take care of it..hehe

Hello Kitty Glitter Graphics

January! Gloria..be strong!

Well it's january 2013 and i'm still proceed my study on pre university..but this year is my last year..i'm a senior now..lot of pressure on studies..got a ton of work..always spent time more at school then home..my relationship sometimes bother my study..my illness getting okey..but my body easily got tired..because lack of rest..sometimes i had a bad feeling about my study..i always feels that i want to stop schooling..i know that is impossible..my mother won't let me do that..so what i really can do now is just proceed and be patient..1 year is not a long time for me..and i hope sufffering for 1 and a half year got it's own good for me on future..