Feeling something. Something LIKE....

I spend my Friday and Saturday watching anime Hiiro No Kakera & Say ' I Love You'. It's a great story by the way. When I woke up this morning, it was around 9.30 am. I woke up pretty early I guess since I slept around 2 or 3 am last night. I've always count how many hours I sleep everyday. As I woke up, my another roommate went to short trip and while the other one still sleeping because she's been busy with her kompang team. Good luck for them! Well, I felt strange today. At first I don't know how to explain but seems like I'm thrilled over something. It's strange because I rarely feel that way. I know it is weekend and I can sleep without setting my alarm beforehand but this time is completely different. Slowly I'm asking myself, Am I in love again with him? I know it's been so many 'him' on my previous post and I'm gonna tell you a bit bout him. Okay. this 'him' is not a new guy. I known him for over 10 years roughly. I never talk much with him and I don't know why. He's my first crush when I was still at the primary school. He has everything that I wish for. I mean, every girl had their own standard or I must say their own version of prince charming when it comes to a guy. HAHA. Okay, so we almost never talk face to face. I somehow hate him and never wanted to see him but sometimes I did. Whatever! His family seems close to mine because we went to the same church. TMI. Yes, TMI. I know. I can't help spilling it out. My big sister really hate him and she called him loser. Me and my big sis always had our heart to heart talk whenever we got time or problems. She and my mother are the best listener and so do I. She said, " don't ever pick someone like him because someone like him will not appreciate you." Also she said, "didn't you saw what happened on his past relationship? always end up so badly." My sis always concern about me when it comes to relationship. Honestly, I've only had 1 ex boyfriend. 2013 till now I never go out with a guy because I just don't want to go through things from the top. It's so complicated. But, I just don't to expect something from him because he always disappoint me. He never had an interest to know me anyway. I always end up like this. Secretly hoping then it will never work out I really wish he will not bother me again. Please, my heart can't bear all the pain. I need break. I'm tired. I know it will always be the one sided love. Always and forever it will be. I'm not trying to be pathetic but it is the truth. I know accepting the truth can be harsh but it is the only way for us to grow stronger and wiser. Come on Gloria! you're 23 years old young adult and will be soon graduating. Just make you family proud. Don't ever let them down especially your mother.