Just So You Know

The tittle quite familiar right? I mean only for those who heard of Jesse McCartney's song. The purpose that I'm gonna tell you all about this night or midnight is I really can't keep this struggle anymore. Slowly, the struggle seems make myself especially my heart is aching all over. I just so stupid until I can't differentiate the reality and fantasy. I think that he's probably noticed me only in my dream but in reality, he seem don't care and never talk to me at all. All I can sum up is he didn't interested in me at all. I mean, look at me. I got nothing to brag about. I'm just too ordinary until he can noticed me. I'm not very pleased about it. It's been years, he keep changing his girlfriend. I thought the girl who had a similar face with him, they'll end up marrying and live happily ever after but turned out to be the broke up after 4 years of relationship. I know how is it feel and it takes time to move too. For me, I'm 90% move on. The rest still running around somewhere in my mind. This October make it becoming 2 years. I'm pretty sure that I'm a loyal lover. In my past relationship, I put all the blame on that guy. He was the one who abandoned me and I never see our future together so end up leaving him before it gone worst. Back to my topic, JUST SO YOU KNOW my dearest crush I'd already spent years to forget about you. Unfortunately, I really can't. The feeling kind of taking over me. I'm having a had time whenever I heard that there's girl that you've been with. I was so jealous. I pray to God and asked HIM, why YOU didn't give me a chance to be with him? I love him this much and it's been so long I've this feeling. I'm hurt and it's too hard to forget about you cause you are part of my life. Thinking about you everyday is my routine almost like my needs. I didn't mean to make a statement that I'm a freak that crazy about him but that is the truth. How I wish you can approach me just like the other girl that you've been mingled around. How about me? You really can't see me> Am I that invincible? Am I that ugly? Am I really out of your league? I'm the one who loved you wholehearted. Is that wrong? See? this is all such a bullshit. crying over someone that will never love you back is so painful to watch. No matter how, I will still love you crush.