Crush :)

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...." i don't realise that i also can be strong enough without you..."

Well.. it's been a month now and i'm still trying so hard to forget about him.  Thank God for His love and grace that fullfil my empty heart and soul. I just don't want to talk much now. I'm speechless. Sorry...

Hoobastank - the reason

The Scientist by Coldplay.

Hello August :)

Time goes swiftly on it's way. All i can do is facing all the problems without postpone it and i wish i could stop or control it. Honestly, i still a brokenhearted girl but i guess i was too tough and trying so hard to forget him even though i know it's impossible. Ain't no person would love me as much as he do but he's love starting to decrease day by day. He started to look outside of me not the inside of me. I mean my physical. I know it's not easy for him having a plus size girlfriend and it ain't easy for me too because i'm bigger than my boyfriend. People always make fun of us whenever we were going for a walk. I was hurting a lot. It hurts like hell. His friend always teasing me by saying that i am fat and not suitable for their friend. After 4 years, i decided to leave him and he did accept it at the first place. Recently, he did asked me if i wanna be his girlfriend once more but all i can do was trying to ignore and our conversation ended with fight. I really more prefer that we were fought by ending our conversation because i quite worried that i will be back again with him. Being his girlfriend is the best feeling ever. I love him so much than he know. Loving a person doesn't mean that we are going to own them but loving a person is about how your appreciate them, remember them, love who the way they are, take care of them even though there's a distance that might limited your actions. I, seriously said that forgetting you was the hardest thing i could have done. Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to apart and nobody's tell it would be this hard.

So...

This is my wishlist for my future boyfriend :

1. Accept me who i am

2. Love me dearly (most important)

3. He must be a christian

4. Look alike Bruno Mars (I know it's impossible)

5. Like my family and respect them.

6. Wear perfume.

7. Love english language.

8. Can play at least one music instrument (guitar would be my first choice)

9. Must older than me. ( 20 years old - 22 years old )

10. Never plays DOTA ( for sure )

11. Not smoking and drink alcohol.

12. Must taller than me because i love tall guy.

13. Must be dusun okey!

14. Text me every morning and say good night to me every night.

15. Call me first!

16. Don't ever control my life! ( I swear i will curse you! Haha)

This is my ridiculous wishlist and it's all bullshit.

Single life is awesome

I can't remember which date we broke up but i guess it's already 1 week. Thank God since today i can cheer myself up. He, the ex always updating his status and mostly about me. He still hoping that we'll back again but guess what, i don't want anymore. I think 3 years more it's enough to torture me. I've been hurt a lot. While we're still dating, i always cried like shit. Jealousy will always controlling my mind. Now. i guess i can take a break for a while. I wish i can borrow one of those fairy's magic stick from magic land then i want all those memories to be erased. Haha! i know it's impossible. I think i watched too much disney's fairy tale movie. Back to track, i'm hoping that we'll never ever meet again. Boys always be boys. They always mean to their exes. Saying something that unexpected by people. Honestly, i still love and care about him but i firmly say that i never look back again. So, i want you to be happy my 'dear' ex. Don't find someone like me but find someone who's much better than me. Okay? Bye!