My Valentine 2017

Well, some people can be misunderstanding about this so called Valentine day. Then, let's begin. Valentine day is on 14 February. Basically, Valentine day is a day you're going to have date or have some quality time with your loved ones. It doesn't matter if you are celebrating it with family and friends or perhaps with your partner or you didn't have to celebrate it because it is not that important. V day is just an international celebration. So, as you know I'm single and broke just like the FB said it. I burst out laughing when I saw it. I laughed because it is the truth. Okay, so my story begin like this. On 13 Feb, I went to his coffee shop. But the 3 days earlier, I did asked my brother to take me there. I was being curious. I just wanted to see how's he doing and how's the coffee shop look like. The night I know that my brother finally decided to go there with me. But only both of us know about it. He knows how much I adore that guy or let me be more specific the guy is the owner of that coffee shop. The moment I stepped on his cafe, I just saw 2 of his workers which I knew them because they are my church member. After ordering some foods and drinks, we waited about couple of minute then the order came and he suddenly appeared. I was sitting backwards from the door. So I didn't manage to saw him coming in. My heart beating fast and all the butterfly were spreading on my stomach. My eye pupil my getting bigger, I can't stop smiling. I can't show how happy I was when I met him after 1 year. Gosh! I swear he's getting handsome and cute. I really glad that I finally went there. He was being himself that night. He's so friendly, nice and warm. Argh! I started to miss him already. At first, he was avoiding the eye contact. But the second time, he keep staring at me with his sleepy eyes. Gosh. He was so cute. HAHA. okay Gloria. Calm down. The keep making me talk more and more. He did remembers my major at University. He even asked how many years left. I am good at making poker face but inside me was screaming like hell. I'm glad how things turned out last V day even though it's not on 14 February but it's the day before it. I think I got a better Valentine day this year. 2017 might be a good year for me. Amen!

Anxiety, trust issue and God

There's a saying 'People are more scarier than the world'. I just started to believe it today. I always telling myself that the world is terrifying without God but turned out to be people who had their own religion or belief can be horrifying too. It's not like I would like to blame their religion or belief but I'm just saying that because in this big world people had their own god. My anxiety level soaring up and my heart beating like crazy. Hoping that God could save me from bad things. You know what, God did save me from bad things today and HE did gave me something to learn today. It's okay to have trust issue as long as you are safer on that way. I swear, after this I will never dealing things on my own with stranger, ride their car, believe what they are saying or whatever it is. I called this JERA. I just want to blow up. I mean my feelings. How insecure I felt, How lazy I was, How I hate going to classes because I can't be any better while other people is moving forward. I just need to do some healing. I need motivation booster, I need to feel good about myself all the time, I need to be brave to handle things on my own and I need to be stronger for myself. Did you notice that I keep repeating the the word 'I need'? that just because I wanted to be stronger enough. I have to remind myself that the stronger I become, the better I'll be on my own. Sigh~ People indeed are scarier that the world because people made it scarier. World is just a temporary place to live and people like to do bad things. Every second, every minute there's always a crime, people died, newborn and so on. I thank God for HIS love and mercy towards people. Again, I'll say the world is nothing without God. Our Jesus, Our Savior. 

A Letter For That Dear Someone

Dear Someone That I Haven't Seen For 1 Year,

           

              Hi, I just don't want to mention your name here because I know it's kinda appropriate. I just want to say hi and asking how's your 2016. I knew you had a busy day ahead because you just opened a cafe last year. I'm sorry that I couldn't come to your cafe yet because I think I didn't want to embarrassed myself. I bet you didn't even remember me. Well, it's okay because we didn't see each other that often. The other day, on our way back to home, I saw a moon and a star. Their distance was not that far but they never be together because it is impossible. Just like me and you. you're the moon while I'm the star. No matter how close we were, still we never bumped into each other.. How I wish these feelings can go away too. I misses you so much and I only met you in my dreams. Last time, I dreamed about how close we were and I just wanted to hug you and tell you how much I missed you. Slowly, I realized that was just an imagination. That situation maybe the way I wanted us to be like but that warmth feeling that you gave me doesn't seem a fake sign. Frankly, I never felt that way whenever I met someone. The reason I keep holding on is I believe that someday we could make it, I told Him about you. I told Him that I wanted you. Just you and no one else. He keep asking me to wait patiently. At first I thought I could do it but year by year, I getting impatient. I keep bottled up feelings. Sometimes, I even asked Him. Why is it too hard? Why is it took too long?He told me that good things come slow and it's a worth to wait. As a person, ordinary person, it really sounds ridiculous if a relationship can be done without any communication. But, we know that in Him, there's nothing impossible. I apologize if this letter is too long. I'm hoping you are doing great this new year 2017. I really looking forward to meet you someday. Take care love! I'll always wait for you no matter how long it takes. xoxo

Sincerely, 

A Girl that misses you so much.