In the middle of despair

I believe that I am a normal girl that having lot of problem to deal with, having a crush to a lot of boy and still studying. The first time I know love was with my ex. He's a great lover but I'm just a girl that having a lot of weakness. We ended it up 2 years ago before I enter university. After that, I just never be in any relationship. I'd tried couple of time to get into a relationship but I always been rejected. Somehow, it makes me so sad, I'm just being honest though. How I wish I don't have desire  for having a relationship but it is normal to have that desire. Last month, I sent one short private message to this guy. I only wrote " Hi, how are you?".  I actually don't have any intention but he just remove me from his facebook account. I was a bit shocked. I can sum that up as he is freaking hate me. He reject me harshly. Btw, thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I hate to admit that he was my first love. I declare him as a stranger now. It was so unexpected. Life is more that you ever imagine. Sometimes, it is beyond anything but with God our life is more meaningful. Maybe, I am going to be alone for the rest of my life without a life partner. I know it is not necessary to have someone by your side but I really wanted to have it. Life can be so unfair and empty. I hate living on this world. It's full of demanding people. I guess I need to focus on myself. So, today I'm decided to not searching my soulmate. The end