Unrequited Love Story

It's August and my holiday soon to be over. I had pretty much 2 or 3 weeks more of holiday. New semester is about to begin which I'll becoming a 3rd year senior on my 2nd semester. How time flies and I noticed that myself is growing to be more and more mature. I'm seeing all things not only on one perspective but many. I also learn how to tolerate or should I say dealing with people. At uni life, my job not only studying but also dealing with many people such as lecturer, other students and more. But, there's one thing I find it hard to manage is my financial. It's hard to resist things like sales, makeup stuff and foods. Gosh, I'm like going crazy whenever I passed by all the shop on the mall. Okay, so I did tell you guys about this particular guy that gives me warm feeling right? There's a story about him now. Couple days ago, he appeared on my dream. he told me that he finally have someone that he likes and at the same time he's having a hard time whether he wanted to choose me or the other one. Frankly, I never wanted to be a second choice.. If you really love me, choose me then. I'm done being the second option. I guess I'm not good enough for them. This unrequited love story yet fantasy kinda love is boring and unsure. How can you trust everything based on your dream? tell me. Why I always had a conversation with him only in my dream? it's sound suspicious don't you think?  so I decided to forget about it and move on. Believe me, I once find myself convincing about all the dream. I did pray. I'm not sure whether the dream are from God or it's just my wish to see him in my dreams. My mind kinda messed up right now. I hate making decision when the moment is not right. you know what I mean. I said this to my sister, ' if he's getting married with someone else, I will be so sad and crumbling on my room for days.' I'm so into him and I've never ever so into on a guy like this. There's no other guy could give me the warm feeling just the way he does it.  Why life has to be like this? I should choose to be happy right? Please, happiness come to meee. 

11 DAYS, FEELINGS & FALLING APART

So, I knew this guy from Facebook. He added me month ago. I believed he saw my Facebook account from his ex. He’s so young and dumb. Yes, dumber than I expected. He even younger than my baby brother. I never thought that i would date someone younger than my baby brother. He’s 19 ladies and gentlemen. He’s such a bad boy. Believe me, I don’t even like to him. I’d agree to date him because I just need a person who can send me some lovey dovey chats. I know I’m being cruel. I bet he’s doing the same thing as I am. I would never obey to him. I know the good and bad thing in this temporary world because I’m older. He just an immature guy. Sometimes, he didn’t even understand what I’m saying. He laughed at me and said that I’m weird. I believe he’s calling me stupid. Well, I’m glad I left him. I did make up some stupid excuses so break the relationship. I don’t feel any sparks. Never I guess. 11 days was great but 1 thing for sure, he’s still lingers on all over my social media account. Funny thing is, i can’t get him out of my mind. We broke up yesterday. Honestly, I don’t feel anything at all, at all. Nope! I guess my feeling is dead. I used to crush this guy, but now I don’t even think of him. He just an hopeless case. I did move on from him because he only existed in my dream. But in reality, we rarely met. He probably won’t remember me. We are living not far from each other neighborhood but we never bumped into each other. I guess I take that as a no from god. Perhaps, I’m not meant to be with anybody. Surprisingly it’s already august. I have 1 month left of holidays. Seriously, I just give it all to God. About money for instance. I just want to run away from everything. I’m just too tired to face anything that comes. Lord, I gave up long time ago but the journey still on and it almost end  I hope.