In the middle of despair

I believe that I am a normal girl that having lot of problem to deal with, having a crush to a lot of boy and still studying. The first time I know love was with my ex. He's a great lover but I'm just a girl that having a lot of weakness. We ended it up 2 years ago before I enter university. After that, I just never be in any relationship. I'd tried couple of time to get into a relationship but I always been rejected. Somehow, it makes me so sad, I'm just being honest though. How I wish I don't have desire  for having a relationship but it is normal to have that desire. Last month, I sent one short private message to this guy. I only wrote " Hi, how are you?".  I actually don't have any intention but he just remove me from his facebook account. I was a bit shocked. I can sum that up as he is freaking hate me. He reject me harshly. Btw, thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I hate to admit that he was my first love. I declare him as a stranger now. It was so unexpected. Life is more that you ever imagine. Sometimes, it is beyond anything but with God our life is more meaningful. Maybe, I am going to be alone for the rest of my life without a life partner. I know it is not necessary to have someone by your side but I really wanted to have it. Life can be so unfair and empty. I hate living on this world. It's full of demanding people. I guess I need to focus on myself. So, today I'm decided to not searching my soulmate. The end

Help me.. I'm drowing

It's been a month I'm becoming a second year student here. My habits is getting worst. I always skip the class and give an excuse that I'm sick. I do't know why I keep doing this thing. Am I giving up my studies? Or I'm losing a motivation to study? The truth is, I'm losing my motivation to study here.When you are always far from your family, you are always on your own and money always be the main stress for me. I wish I can get a motivation from someone and I don't care who he or she is. As long as they can motivate me everyday. Study is not an easy task for me. I really turned to a lazy pig this semester. I can't even woke up on 8 o'clock classes. I always skip and skip and skip. I keep running from the reality and I did realize it was bad for me. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I was hoping that I will redeem all the class that I skipped. October is a new month and I promise that I will make up on it. Going to class everyday and never skip class again. It's a bad thing and it will only harm my reputation as a student. Back on track Gloria! You can do it! Yes you can!