Mental breakdown, I guess.

No matter how hard I do, she still didn't say a thing about me. She only like the intelligent student like the rest of my course mate. Maybe because they threat her as a friend. Once I did try to be friends with her but I always lose my chances. Sometimes, I wish I can be like the rest of my course mate. Whenever they talked in Spanish, they can immediately speak without fear. I wish I can be a person who talk without feels any fear and think without worrying too much what's gonna happen. Honestly, I am having mentally breakdown for this semester. She keep saying that I was so bad and seems like she doesn't like me at all. There's nothing special about me. She likes that kind of person who is talented and intelligent. You need to be special then she will attracted to you. How I can compete with the rest? I'm just an ordinary girl that comes from a medium family without a dad and people keep thinking I am clever but actually I'm not. Even if she didn't like me, I will try as hard as I could to get a good grades and maybe it doesn't matter whether I can be friends with her of not. I still believe that I can be better even though she keep telling that I am bad. She can be so annoying,burden,monster and so on but I'm thankful to God because HE send me her to teach me. I don't want to mention her name here. I just to say that whatever it is, I just want to pass every semester without disappointing my mother. I want to graduate on time and I just want to hold the scroll, be a better person, can find a job to help my mother, to take her to travel anywhere she want and learn different language as much as I can. God's will is more important than ours. You just can simply say about other people's future but at the end God's will can decide which way is ours destiny or our path. So what if I'm having mental breakdown now, I don't care because I know I can be better than everyone else. Who are you to judge me?