Being in love?

I really uncomfortable with this issue because I am not lucky on this love thing. Honestly, I used to be someone who hard to fall in love with somebody and until one day I fell in love with a guy that name F. I hate to share about it because it's kinda lame. In the age on 12 till 19 years old, I've already treasure my love story. It's kinda fun and I fell free when I fell in love on 12 till 19 years old. But now I'm already 20 years old. I'm so picky and feel so stress if I want to fall in love because I want a long lasting relationship not for fun FYI, it's just wasting my time if I'm busy paying attention with this love thing. Sometimes, being in love or having a boyfriend it's very traumatized me.