Being in love?

I really uncomfortable with this issue because I am not lucky on this love thing. Honestly, I used to be someone who hard to fall in love with somebody and until one day I fell in love with a guy that name F. I hate to share about it because it's kinda lame. In the age on 12 till 19 years old, I've already treasure my love story. It's kinda fun and I fell free when I fell in love on 12 till 19 years old. But now I'm already 20 years old. I'm so picky and feel so stress if I want to fall in love because I want a long lasting relationship not for fun FYI, it's just wasting my time if I'm busy paying attention with this love thing. Sometimes, being in love or having a boyfriend it's very traumatized me.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

So many people in this world said that we all need a friend for a lifetime. Friend is someone stranger and suddenly became part of our life. Sadly, for me friend is just a person that knows about me but don't understand me at all. I have 4 BFFs and all of them went to same high school as me. There were some kind of tragedy that causes me hard to believe my own BFF. That tragedy really impact my bad thoughts about people. Frankly, personally I am someone who hard to believe on people especially a new friend. I've been too much hurts and sorrow on believing people. I rather choose to be with my family than my own BFF. I'm really sorry because maybe some of my friend will see this but that's what I thought about you all. I know I'm not a good friend though. I've been given a fake hope for so many times and sometimes I think I don't need a friend.But above all, Thank God for being there for me. God knows every single inch about me. The best decision I ever made was receiving Jesus Christ as my savior. So sorry friends, I will never ever trust you all again. It's just a disappointment.